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    As a quick aside, if you are a single man and you would not describe yourself as ready to be married within a year, think about why that is.

    As you move into the stage of life in which you begin to seriously consider marriage generally or a particular relationship, your first step should be to soberly reflect, before God, on your own spiritual walk and maturity in Christ.As I mentioned, he should not do this until he is "ready" to marry.If you're not ready to marry, you're not ready to date.Every male who is out of college should have at least thought this through. Initiation is not manipulating the situation so that while you're officially "asking her out" there's no actual risk of rejection or embarrassment. It means that you as the man take the first step, risk and all. 'Doesn't that mean that she can just tell me no and leave me twisting in the wind? But whatever the circumstances, her role is as responder, not initiator.Once he determines he is ready to be married generally, and once he has found a particular woman he is interested in pursuing, our single man's next step is to "put some feelers out." He should talk to some of her friends, see if she's been asking about him, have one or two subtly suggestive conversations with her to see if she gives anything away.... In his Boundless article, "Real Men Risk Rejection," Michael Lawrence eloquently summarizes both the objections some men might raise to this idea, and, in my view, the ideal response: 'Wait a minute. As single men need to learn how to lead (whether they like it or not), single women need to learn what it is to let a man assume spiritual leadership in the relationship — and to respond to that leadership.

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